Thursday, March 02, 2006

Belvidere's Milton Butts' Drive In Bonanza.....

(Milton Butts, standing in front of his drive-in theater in Belvidere, Nebraska.)

Before Milton Butts moved to Belvidere from New York in the Fall of 2003 for what are thus far unrevealed reasons, the citizens of this up and coming city were forced to watch television at home. Located on the corner of 6th and D Street, next to the railroad tracks, the theater built by Mr. Butts came into existence quite by accident. "I was building an airplane hanger but after I had the first wall up I realized what I had here. A big white wall! The rest just fell into place like bodies down an embankment." When asked why he was building an airplane hanger, Mr. Butts left hurriedly with a concerned look on his face. "I'm not hiding anything!" he yelled as he ran into the distance towards the old abandoned mine.

Though Mr. Butts has not lived in Belvidere long, he has already stirred up a great deal of intense debate amongst the townspeople. Maynard Jergens, Belvidere's only homeless person and man who has long been rumored to be the heir to the billion dollar Jergen's fortune, is no stranger to intrigue and is concerned about the damage that Milton Butts might do to Belvidere's public image. "I don't like him with his leather pants and New York accent. He don't belong around here! You gonna eat that sandwich?", Mr. Jergens, wielder of two of the most supple and luxurious hands in Belvidere if not all of Thayer county including Davenport and Shickley, had to say.

(Maynard Jergens and his silky hands. Belvidere bachelor extraordinaire.)

Milton Butts' Drive In Bonanza has been a hit since the first night it opened with a screening of Family Man, a film starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni, which was the most recent movie available at the time. Ms. Leoni was unfortunately unable to attend the ribbon cutting ceremony, a snub which Mr. Butts seemed to take very personally. "People who cross me have a way of winding up dead. I'm just saying that maybe little miss too good to make an appearance at my theater might come to regret turning down an invitation from Milton Butts." Well folks around Belvidere know better, especially this Wednesday night when Little Nicky starring Adam Sandler will be shown. And Wednesday nights are popcorn half price night.

(Actress Tea Leoni. Why does she hate Belvidere so much?)

Spooner Jenkins


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