Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Town Supports Dr. Grimes.....

(Come on in to Tug's and bring the kids!)

First off I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in to support Dr. Grimes and his letter to the town. It seems that some people out there, namely one Dr. Clark Bartram, don't agree with what our town doc has to say. But you can't argue with popularity and around these parts Chiropractic is king. How else can you explain how nobody has gotten the Mumps yet or why the death rate in Belvidere is as close to the national average as it is. If Deek Newton hadn't gotten caught in that wheat thresher last week we'd have been on pace but you can't blame that one on Dr. Grimes can you Dr. Bartram.

I'm going to share the responses from the citizens of Belvidere that were dropped off at the Mayor's Office by the town letter carrier, and part time salesman at Tug's John Deere Outlet, Norris Pearle. But first, if your old tractor isn't pulling its weight around the corn fields anymore, why not head on over to Tug's John Deere Outlet. They sell'em ugly, but they sell'em good. And if you buy a tractor this month, tell old Tug that the Mayor sent you and your kid gets his very own slightly used and minimally soiled John Deere Jr. for an additional 10% off and no interest for 6 months. Tug sure is crazy about saving you money. He is also crazy, which is why his beautiful wife Willomina is running the shop these days.

"Dear Mayor Jenkins,

I'd like to say that I think Dr. Grimes has done an excellent job caring for the citizens of Belvidere. I can't remember the last time we had a case of Infantile Canine Distemper here in town. And if I get an adjustment at the start of a cold or a headache, it gets better everytime and never turns into Phlemongitis or Brain Fever. If it were up to me, Dr. Grimes would get a raise."


Frank G."

"Dear Your Honor,

Dr. Grimes is the best. He cured my subluxation in one visit but warned me that it might return if I don't come to see him every Thursday until I don't want to be healthy anymore. Who wouldn't want to be healthy. Not me. He also warned me that the fancy MRI I got in Lincoln wouldn't show any subluxations because the technology isn't sensitive enough. Only his special Thermodermatographoscope Subluxation Station, the only Thermodermatographoscope endorsed by the World Chiropractic Alliance and the Nebraska Practice Builders Association, can find them. You can't argue with science!

Yours Truly,

F. Grimes"

"Dear Mr. Mayor,

Did you know about the specials we are having this month at Tug's John Deere Outlet? Every kid gets their very own slightly used and minimally soiled John Deere Jr. if their father buys a tractor. I don't believe in chiropractors. They only focuse on the spine. My weekly colonic gets rid of all the toxins in my gut and that keeps me fit as a fiddle. It also keeps me from doing what the voices tell me to do. And I'll throw in a doll for the girls!



(Buy a tractor this month and get a new doll for your little princess!)

Spooner Jenkins


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