The Batman of Belvidere.....

("Batty", the Batman of Belvidere, shown here battling the Power Rangers in the controversial Frierson Photo.)



When visiting the fine town of Belvidere, be sure to talk to our colorful citizens about the legend of the Batman of Belvidere. Records of sightings of the Batman of Belvidere, or "Batty", can be traced back to the early years of the 19th century. Many credit the monster with the decimation of the irregular sheep population in these parts though the town's resident sheep scientist, and most vocal critic of anti-irregular sheep laws, Murry "Mudpiles" Larkin blames the tense interactions between Belviderians and the local Native American populations during most of the 1800's. Local tribes harbor an almost intense hatred of irregular sheep and this deep rooted fear sometimes led to the breakdown of any peaceful negotiations.

Over the past few decades there has been a resurgence of Batty sightings. A scientist from nearby Carleton, Nebraska, who asked to remain anonymous, feels that this is likely due to an increase in seismic activity resulting from the secret installation of nuclear missile silos deep underground on the outskirts of Belvidere. He revealed during our interview that, "Batty sightings, along with the increasing prevalence of reported encounters with Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, El Chupacabra, and many more monsters around the world, are a clear sign of a government conspiracy to control the weather!"

But folks around Belvidere just think that Batty has woken up from a long nap and is ready to feed on the warm blood of irregular sheep, the mainstay of it's diet. But with the dwindling population of the hated irregular sheep, some have come to fear that it may turn his lustful appetite on the townspeople or the ever precarious supply of Ronda's $3 Dollar Meatloaf.

Despite the hundreds of credible eye witnesses such as Bort Hickson, Belvidere's oldest citizen at 117 years old and owner of Grandma's, there are those that remain skeptical of Batty's existence. They point to the controversial Frierson photo, thought by many to be the best proof that Batty is more than just a figment of a small town's imagination, as an obvious and poorly manufactured hoax. As with most things here in Belvidere, only time will tell. And time is something we have a lot of around here.

Sincerely,
Spooner Jenkins

More Forgotten Laws.....

(A clear violoation of the irregular sheep ordinance.)









Though not as much of a concern in this day and age, irregular sheep were often an issue here in Belvidere during frontier times. This was most evident when attempting to form alliances with neighboring Indian tribes as irregular sheep are considered by the majority of Native Americans as an omen of purest evil. Irregular sheep were in fact thought by many tribes to be the embodiment of Malsum the Native American god of evil and destruction.

Ordinance 214.G1: The breeding of irregular sheep is henceforth to be punishable by hanging. Spontaneously occuring irregular sheep are to be slaughtered and buried with haste. Under no circumstances are irregular sheep to be brought around Indians.

Sincerely,
Spooner Jenkins

Forgotten Laws of Belvidere, Nebraska.....

While going over the Town Charter, I came across some long forgotten laws that are still on the books. Many are very much applicable to today's modern Belvidere. Who hasn't been frustrated with late season turnip pickers?


(The burying of a Belvidere woman who had picked turnips after Founder's Day circa 1983.)





Law 137.9a: There shall be no picking of turnips after Founder's Day until the first full moon of the new year. Violaters of this law shall be buried unto their waist for a sixth night.


Sincerely,
Spooner Jenkins

A New Town Slogan For Belvidere!.....

(The Rose Farm Bed and Breakfast)


In an attempt to bring the town of Belvidere into the 21st century, beautiful and romantic Rose Farm Bed and Breakfast is sponsoring a contest to pick a new town slogan. There have already been a number of entries but there has yet to be a winner declared. Entries are to be mailed to or dropped off at the Rose Farm Bed and Breakfast before the end of the month. Strom Rose, his lovely wife Bernetta, and their 6 beautiful children Strom Rose Jr., Bernetta Lynn Rose, Bernetta Sue Rose, Bernetta Jean Rose-Jenkins(my beautiful grand daughter-in-law) , Strom Rose III, Bernetta Strom Rose, and of course Lucky the 5-legged cow will serve as judges for the contest. Here are just a few of the entries they have received so far:

1.) "Home of the world famous Jesus Tortilla!"
2.) "Home of the $3 Dollar Meatloaf!"
3.) "Six miles from Carleton, Nebraska!"
4.) "Jesus's Backyard!"
5.) "We don't take too kindly to people who don't take too kindly 'round here!"
6.) "Absolutely no hidden underground nuclear missile silos!"
7.) "A UFO abduction every week or your meatloaf is free!"
8.) "Come for the peace and quiet, stay for the 5-legged cow!"
9.) "Home of the world's largest largest ball of industrial grade dental floss!"
10.) "Where almost nobody has scurvy!"

(Belvidere's giant floss ball. That's me in front!)















So get your entries in soon and help make Belvidere the town it was meant to be! We'll announce the winner in February.

Sincerely,
Spooner Jenkins